22 December 2010

black sheep again

Oh my its good to touch you back, dear keyboard. I miss you so much. Touching your countless, uh buttons yea buttons makes me hard on. Your figure is way better than beyonce's (*oh that pig is fat,admit it farkers). Okay stop playing. Lets start to get off topic and weird. It is black sheep. Oh no! Not again.


Well, one idiot who obviously dumb and dumb arrive back home. My privacy space had been hack (*sorry to say that). Since then, the worst happen. What wrong with these people? Why they keep scolding me all the time even not my mistake. I feel so lack of love. Oh yess, I almost forget. Im useless and un wanted on this earth right? and I am born just to be scold with no reason.

Its okay.
They can say what ever they want to say but I herd nothing. I silenced trying to figure a reason. I couldn't care much about it. It is just piece of garbage anyway. Just admit it. I keep my mouth shot to clam me down with doing innocent face. Oh yes!! Thank godness. They give up to talk more. hahahaha. Good job. Now, fighting over is some outdated fugly dance (*is just pure dumbass). I was to lazy to fight back.


(p/s : It turn out, my bad luck isnt ending.)

27 November 2010

cant sleep + tired = sick head


dah dua hari tak boleh tido. why? why? why? i dono.
when all set done. kelam kabut nak get ready pegi trip.

7.00 am - betolak dari convent. duduk dengan Looi. Sharon dengan Saranya. berenti breakfast kat tapah.

11.30 am - sampai KLCC. tandas jap.

12.35 am - petrosain. perjalanan sekilas masa. dark ride. bersama Hawe, Rita, Sheshe, ngan lagi dua org sape ntah. tak ingat. bla bla bla. bla bla bla.
(*sorry aku tade mood nak tangkap gamba. aku teringin nak tido)

2.30 pm - pegi food court. Hawe, Rita, aku makan nasi ayam. Hawa belanja air oren. Sheshe makan bihun. bla bla bla. pusing2. bla bla bla. tunggu bas.

3.50 pm - naik bas. try kuey tiaw Saranya. pegi tandas belakang time square. tuka baju. naik bas. simpan. susun. turun. tunggu yang lain kejap. jalan. beli t-shirt monster dua. saja saja.

6.00 pm - tunggu dekat pintu utama. kat situ mcm gig free XFM tu la. patot la Mior ajak aku turun KL. ikot event dia kot. ada artis. banyak artis. tape takesah.

6.30 pm - bas sampai time sqare. naik. bertolak.

7.45 pm - cancle pegi bandar ICT. nak pegi terus check in hotel. bilik aku, fatin, yana no. 301. Yana mandi. OMG! she naked. buat tak nampak. Fatin mandi. aku tak sempat mandi. basah sikit2 je. siap. turun. aku ngan Fatin pegi dulu. Yana tunggu Nyonya, Fatanah dengan Fatin Nabilah.

9.15 pm - sunway piramid. cari Hawe. naik atas. tade. turun. cari Nyonya. Looi mesej tanya dekat mana. aku dah tataw aku kat mana. suroh diaorang jalan dulu. berpecah. wah. aku nampak ice skate lah. teman Fatin beli barang untuk mak dia kat JUSCO. da beli. pusing2. makan McD. kat tepi tengah McD tu ada ice skate. dah makan. nak kua dari sunway. Oh tidak. sesat! Fatin pegi turun dekat ice skate tuh. aku pon pelik. takkan la pintu kua kat sini. aku ikot dia je. org yg kat ice skate tuh tanya kenapa dekat sini? Fatin cakap nak cari pintu keluar. dia cakap bukan dekat sini. dekat atas. pastu naik lift pegi atas. kedai semua da tutop. kita org follow orang cina tuh jalan. tengok2 dia bukan nak kua dari sunway tapi dia memang stay dekat hotel dalam sunway nih. nampak pakgad. Fatin tanya mana pintu kelua. dia bagi taw. jalan2. pusing2. thx god. da jumpa da. kua. pegi hotel. masok bilik. bla bla bla. aku ngan Fatin pegi bilik 202. Fatin kua dari bilik 202. bla bla bla. diaorang main telefon. call bilik sana sini. Sheshe call bilik 301 ckp "Room survis. I have a complain that you room is too noisy. ..." diaorang tahan gelak tutup2 idong. aku tatahan gelak. bla bla bla. kua dari bilik 202. naik. masok bilik. bla bla bla. Daru mintak tolong surprise birthday Beh dalam bilik diaorang. masok bilik diaorang. tutop lampu. Sharon, Looi, Saranya pon ada. lari sana sini. bla bla bla. Beh datang masok bilik. surprise!! nyanyi lagu birthday. bukak lampu. kelua dari bilik. diaorg lari lari lagi. masok bilik Hawe. bla bla bla. naik masok bilik aku. bagi chipmore. Yana makan. Fatin tamaw. bla bla bla.

OMG! OMG! OMG! mana pegi casing contact lens aku? cari cari. geledah beg. tade. turun. bilik 202. tanya ada taperware tak? bagi taw why why dan why. Sheshe bagi tapeware makanan. tapi besa. masok bilik. terpikir. takkan nak simpan contact lens dalam bekas yang koto en. tak jadi guna. turun. bilik 202. mintak plastik. Sheshe bagi plastik cadburry. naik. masok bilik. turun dia org pulak nak geledah beg aku nak cari casing dia. bukan cari pon tapi belek2 barang aku. tape tak kesah. tanya Fatin ada plastik lagi satu tak. dia cakap tada. Yana cakap ada dekat depan lift dekat meja. kelua. pegi dekat meja. bukak laci. cari2. dah dapat. bla bla bla. simpan contact lens. pakai cemin mata. dah relax. huha huha huha. wah wah teruja bila dia ketawa. bla bla bla. huha huha.

dalam pukol dua mcm tuh Yana ajak kua. jalan2 saja saja. Fatin tamaw ikot. aku just pakai selua pendek ngan t-shirt sama dengan Yana. kelua. usha luar dekat tingkap depan bilik. masok bilik balek. Yana tajadi pakai selua pendek dengan t-shirt. dia pakai leklok skali ngan tudung. gud gud. aku just tambah sweater takot kalau2 aku tak tahan sejuk kat luar tuh. saja nak interframe. duduk dekat kedai mamak bawah tepi hotel tuh. minom je. bla bla bla. Yana nak makan roti canai pulak. suruh aku belanja. aku tamaw sebenanya. tapi tapela. sedekah. bukan slalu dengan dia. dia pon order lah cakap nak "roti canai" org tuh dengar "roti bakar". dia ulang lagi dan lagi. baru org tuh dengar dengan betol. bla bla bla. dan kita ketawa.

kita org kat mana nih? dekat negara negro ke? banyak gila negro kat sini. macam kita dua orang je melayu. ada negro mabok la. negro baik ada. ramai pulak negro kelua makan kat kedai makan pagi2 buta dekat sini.

sedikit sesi berterus terang dan luahan perasaan dengan Yana. bla bla bla. ada negro gado cakap pasal hamster. kita orang gelak2. dengar negro tuh sembang2 lagi. gelak lagi. lagi dan lagi. aku rasa macam Im own the night dengan dia. lama betol aku tak ketawa. ketawa macam setan. bla bla bla. huha huha. aku pon nak baya lah bill. da baya. pukol 4 mcm tuh. nak masok bilik. tadi ada org tuh mintak "dunhil" tapi mamak tuh denga "sardin". haha. apela. pekak.

ok. dah cukup tuh aku chill. masok bilik. Fatin da tido best je. Yana pon tido. aku tak tido. try tido. tabole. lagi. sampai pukol 6 lebih mcm tuh. aku mandi dulu. Fatin mandi. Yana mandi. dudok2 sat. tunggu dia org siap. bla bla bla. bilik Ezatie, Fad, Fatin Nabila jap. bla bla bla. diaorg makeup makeup. aku tak. tak suka makeup. I hate makeup. pegi bilik 214 jap. bilik Looi, sharon, Saranya. Saranya mintak charge. pegi bilik Ezatie. tanya charge. tade. pegi bilik 214 balik. lepak kejap. amek roti Saranya. pegi bilik Ezatie. dudok sat. Fatin tade. bla bla bla. tak ingat dah. turun. breakfast. abiskan chipsmore je. Fatin makan nasi goreng dgn roti telo. Mr. Chan blanja semua org. bla bla bla. 7e. bla bla bla. tunggu bas.

10.00 am - bas datang. betolak. aku dudok dgn Sharon pulak. Looi dgn Saranya.

10.45 am - sampai one utama. bla bla bla. huha huha. makan burger king. dgn Hawe, Rita, Sheshe, mano. frust gile lah. tamaw kawan Burger King. Burger King jahat!! jahat!! jahat!! jahat!! ok dah. lupakan. jalan2. pusing2. pegi tropicana life. OMG! OMG! beli sweater. sama corak macam Sheshe tapi colour ijau klabu cam tuh. bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. sesat sesat. bla bla bla.

1.30 pm - bas bergerak bila semua dah ada. bas amek cikgu dekat IKEA.

2.55 pm - tak jadi pegi planitarium. sbb tutop setiap jumaat. dan Mano is leaving dekat area area situ. semua 4SC3 turun. pelok Mano. dia org sedih. aku rase sebak sikit. tape. teruskan. otw JJ ipoh. tgok cita 'lu pikir lah sendiri'.

6.00 pm - sampai JJ. bersama Looi, Sharon, Saranya. tandas jap. pusing2. cari kek untuk anivasary mak ayah Sharon. naik. diaorg mkn. aku tak mkn. malas. tunggu diaorg mkn. aku beli waffel coklet. turun. Sharon blanja aku dengan Saranya ice cream. naik. turun. teman Looi beli baju Nike untuk mak dia. kelua. tunggu depan pintu.

8.00 pm - naik bas. balik. tengok cerita 'niyang rapik' masa otw. sampai mcm nak dekat pukol 10 cam tu la. dia orang semua mak bapak dah amek balik. tinggal aku ngan Fatin last tak balik lagi. tunggu kejap. dah sampai. balik.

tiga hari lebih tak tido. aku macam dah nak mati. lembik dah. aku penat. aku nak tido. bila nak tido? try tido. try tido. try. try. try. dah SHUT DOWN.
(*bila pengsan ingatkan dah mati)

16 November 2010

swan origami

At frist I bring origami on Thursday. Not much of us attend. Sharon, Looi, Ama join me todo a swan. I just gave the swan that I made to anyone that I want. I gave it to Hawe and Sheshe. but sheshe didnt take it. i saw it. she leave the swan like a rubbish on the table. its okay. I dont care. I am nothing to you. I just gave that blue swan to fatin when she just arrive back from softball.

On monday, I bring origami again bcoz Looi ask me to bring it. Just for fun. not for nothing. like the day before. not much of us attend today. at frist, just sharon, looi and ama join me. we have nothing to do. then the moral gals from 4s4 and one fom 3 gals come and join me. it seem they interest to do this shit activities. later then, Hawa, Rita and the other come. its may sound stupid to know that they just be around my table just for these origami. well, we just nothing todo and dono what todo. its is better than we just doing stupid or gossiping to waste.

(p/s : T
hanks to Lieshe for doing me a fish origami and priya for do me a t-shirt)

Thanks for this attention. Thank you all. This will maybe our last moment you treat me like a friend.

Thanks origami! Im HAPPY today

(P/s : Being unnoticed is bullshit rite? Time for make some change. Of course, drastically change loser, mark my words. I'll be the next she, I WILL BE NOTICED, people will hail me and kiss my ugly-odored feet like an Indian freak did)

28 October 2010

apasal hang nih?

aku dah jadi bad attitude balik. tido tak stabil, makan tak stabil, study pon tak stabil. datang skola muka stress je. macam parah sangat ke? tula study hard sangat. kan dah effect. bila cikgu masok kelas cikgu mesti tanya "nape muka masam?" atau "why you so serious?". muka aku masam? yaka?

pape pon nasib baik ada teacher. bila ternampak dia nampak dia saja. tak nampak orang lain dah. aku boleh senyum n ketawa bila teacher aja. wah!! wah! wan senyum? wan ketawa? diaorang kesah apesal? ta pena tengok aku senyum ka? slama ni ada diaorg kesah? hmm. lupakan. yg penting aku tamau sibok2 pasal org. aku kesah pasal aku sorang ja.

study HARD HARD pon rugi jugak. walaupon exam lama lagi dah nak prepare HARD HARD awal2. bila time final exam je terus dah sakit. buat rugi je slama ni aku berkorban terperap dalam bilik lama2. masa kawan lain ajak enjoy kejap pon dah di burnkan. pasal kwn aku malas cakap la. tu bukan mslh aku. aku takesah. aku reda

26 September 2010

three in one

Day : same day
Date : same date
Time : different time

Title 1

In relationship with @#$ :p
Shame on you? No! Im a shame!! How dare me waste my time to play this part of puppy love. Hey bitch, final struggle was around the corner. I just told him that I will not be around on school day. Pitty you? Okay, okay. Let me give you a discount. It was two days a week with you. Is that better? haha :p
So, are you serious? But surely Im not coz I think I know he is a player 'I think'.


Tittle 2

Its maybe sound stupid that I came to PizzaHat Restaurant just to eat. Not other shit! 
Just feel thankful for being invite. We are enjoying our food while annoying together. Everyone was joking with annoyed except me. I dont know whats wrong with me. Always something wrong I guess.


Tittle 3

A bored text with my secret admire. He ask me a stupid question that I already answered last time. Actualy I never tough I had a secret admire. I'm not a good looking person so.. By the way, he a player I guess.

At last, we were fighting in just short period time =.= and he telling me about his feeling *with nice drama word. Hahaha. This is fake. Probably he doesn't meant that. Forsure he will not wait me until the end.

25 September 2010

a guitar from charfting music

What its like to being exposed?
On the road back from tusyen class, he ask me about a guitar that I always wish to own long time ago. He told me that he already search the guitar around the town. It seriously shoke me than. I never thought that he willing so hard to full fill my old wish. Then, he suddenly take me to one place. It was my art class. Mean that 'Crafting Music'. Ohhh dear. He buy for me a guitar with some accessories. Thank you very much dear. I knew I could trust you back!!

By now, I cant easily spent my time to goreng this guitar yet because the final test was around the corner. I am busy awayyy spending my time in my bedroom with study HARD until my high stress level. Homework, exam, tusyen almost kill me.

I am sick. Its too late for me to regrade than.

(p/s : This prove me a lesson that my way of study is wrong.)

24 September 2010

HAPPY EID 2010


1st syawal - Keep smile even this is fake. We are keep chilling each other. There nothing spacial happen. Not much of us here. Only Ayah Long, Umi Cha, Uncle Net not here. Nua said "Wah nana macam artis lah?". BHAhaha. artis pe benda. merepek betol. material ape pon ta pakai. make up pon tak. just bedak ok.

2nd syawal - i forget what happen. maybe just stay home because a lot of people come visit.

3rd syawal - is kenduri arwah. bla bla bla. aku lupa. pegi waterfall kot. bersama Uncle Pacai, Aisya Almas, Nua, Awong, Akim, Uncle Adi n fren, Uncle Maman dan lain2.

4rd syawal - raya uma saudara mara yg aku tak kenal sekitar Johor. buat2 kenal cukop la. dua rumah terakhir seronok betol la sebab aku dapat duit raye. Awong je tak. hahaha. bodo, tu pon nak seronok. then pegi uma Ayah Ngah pastu ajak makan kt lua pulak. Mak Ngah puasa. lepas makan nak pegi uma mak maman. tataw kat ne. b
alik. bila balik kita sampai dulu. uma tak berkunci. lampu pulak black out. pastu black out dah ok. aku tuka baju dulu. dia orang yang lain baru sampai. umi, ayah kua balik. Awong teman Akim pegi 7e. then aku dudok2 dekat luar dengan Awong, Akim, Bibik. Bla bla bla. masok. kuar balik. masok bilik nua tengok youtube gamba raya Nabiha masok en. then nak pegi McD nak GBC pulak. just aku, Awong, Nua, Akim naik keta Akim. kt Mcd GBC da tade pulak. aku order Mc Chicken je sama mcm Awong. Nua bubo. Akim bege ape ntah. dah habis makan. naik keta. bla bla bla. dah pukol bape ntah bukak radio hantu. denga sambil lalu tempat gelap. bla bla bla. until late night.

5th syawal - nak bertolak pukol 10 tak jadi sebab ada orang datang. pegi kubo. balik. solat. pukol 3 time for say goodbye lepas dah makan. masih dalam Johor pusing2 cari kedai makan nasi beriani pulak. dalam pukol 7 lebih baru jumpa. then otw back home. dalam pukol 5 camtu baru sampai.

6th syawal - not attend school

7th syawal - skola cuti. raya uma Pak Long. tengok baby baru Kak N. then raya uma Makngah Puzi. duit raye untuk harini dpt RM10.

8th syawal - bangun pukol 3 mcm tuh. siap kan sejarah jap. kemas buku. umi tnya "nana nak pegi skola tak?". aku cakap "yela. kalo tanak pegi bole ke?". umi cakap bole. so, aku tak pegi lah. Awong buat lagzania. Kamila msj soh dtg pukol 3. sampai sana dlm pukol 3 lebih. uma dia dkt dengan masjid kampong boyan. dia soh tunggu dekat masjid then dia amek aku. pastu dia datang. naik moto dengan dia. da sampai. aku tengok ad 6 orang je pompan yang datang termasok aku. then dudok dekat atas lantai tepi meja makan mkn KFC ayam, mihun, frice, air FnN oren. then basoh tangan. then duduk tepi kat kerusi mkn tepi tuh. then dudok depan tv. then nak balik Awong amek dalam pukol 5 cam tuh kat masjid tempat tadi. Kamila tolong anta en kat masji macam tadi with 2 org follow teman.

10 syawal - they are fighting. and i heard the word 'talak'. hmm. bercerai? hmm.. =.=

13 syawal - majlis khatam al-quran. aku bace surah al-maun pakai microphone with no fear. seronok betol^^ macam tak pecaye kan. dan malam tuh. aku ada peminat? bhahahaha

15 syawal - surprise when yana and syarra come to my classroom just to meet me. why? syarra just want to invite me to her open house this night. the tema will be red, pink or white. then i reach her house sharp on 8pm. we are talking. bla bla bla. they still call me totis and treat me like the past. anyway thanks for invite.




19 September 2010

F.U.C.K

Ada 2 org budak berbual


Man : aku sedih ar ari nih ..

ANUman: pesal lak ko sedih??

Man : aq dapat E,E,E,E,E,D,E der...

ANUman:tuh la...aq dah kate....laen kali belajar....

Man :erm..erm..yerla... ANU,, ko x yah belajar pown x pe..ko dah ade kerja....kerja mengANU

ANUman:ekekekekek, btw .. kalo ko nak berjaya ko kena F.U.C.K

Man : apesal FUCK plak??

ANUman: sbb kalo kite F.U.C.K kite pasti berjaya..kalo ko taknak F.U.C.K sesorang..ko ajak awek ko skali F.U.C.K

Man :eh... ( senyum dalam hati sambil pikir benda negative ) , so kalo aq FUCK awek aq boleh Berjaya la nih??

ANUman: a'ah....

Man : O.o...gitu , ko mesti slalu mengeFUCK kan..hehehe

ANUman:(tergelak) btw. ko F.U.C.K jgn HARD sangat...nanti rosak kpale ko

Man : asal kpale lak yg rosak...

ANUman:yerla..kalo ko FOCUS UNTUK CAPAI KEJAYAAN , HARD sangat..mestila bengong kpale ko....

Man: !@$@#@$@$@#$@#$@

03 September 2010

panic at the tesco


Out for open fasting with Gemoks Family. We're open fast at tesco food court. The ice lemon tea come first. Im order some food like some of them order. While that, they are having some chocolate cake for Gemoks Family and also for Sheshe, Hawe 16th brithday. While that too, I bring along my handmade self kuih raya. Then, we went TS. Some of them are buying some cloth and tudung or something else for their raya preparation. After a while, Fatin ask me cobber her down stair to get Tasya coz she was just arrive.

Its time for Rita leaving, we already in Tesco building. Rita was in trouble coz she afraid to be scold by her mother. She was late for her mother fetch her back. We just having a handshake with smile to calm her mother madness down. And we also ask her if she want some piece of cake.

We are losing our direction coz some of them had separate away. Im with Tasha, Ummi and Hawa have a sit at KFC to wait some of them. Then, bla bla bla. When a stalker past by, Hawa and Ummi go to Mano and Sheshe at McD. Im and Tasha are waiting Fatin at KFC. Then, a starker past by again. Me and Tasha go to them at McD. We have a sit for a while and bla bla bla. 

Its actually the time for my d** to fetch me back. Fatin still at the Tesco buying some kitchen stuff for her mother. But only for a while, I cobber Tasha to get Fatin at Tesco. Just cant just leave her walking alone at night add by she has no phone!!

I rush away to get my d**. Damn, I was been scolded. I just 10 minutes late but he scold me like hell. I just ask forgiveness and just be quit. His shout voice almost break my eardrum. Then, suddenly he lift up about tusyen. I dont know what the point he scold me. Its okay. To be scold by him was already be my habitual. Maybe he to stress at work. Its okay, I dont care. It no longer bother my emotion until I forget how to cry. Seriously, I cant cry either.

My m** not at home for two day. I just texting her my fake feel. Actually Im not. Just to make her ask 'why' to him. And I just want to know 'why'.

13 August 2010

you cast these scars

I knew I could trust you back when we were kids. You sold me out, ran and hid from all your problems. I cant even face your friends even your best friends. When you are holding something in tonight I can tell that you are not alright. Your poker face concealing with all the cards that you are not dealing with your cross arms and avert your eyes. You are like a child that ashamed to cry the words inside your head. I find out that you wish you said that. I know I let you down so many times but I cant ever tell you this because there is no forgiving it for me. You promised me to always be there but that could not be less true. It is the worst thing you could do. Im gonna bet it all on black and when its gone you will want it back. Cause truth will mix with the reason and cheating that ultimate reason and I could see through you like glass. This is my loss with your gain. Do you love to play this way? I’ll cross your face

08 August 2010

dia memang bodoh

I had closed the door upon my heart and wouldn't let anyone in. I had trusted and loved only to be hurt. I wish that it would never happen again. I had locked the door and tossed the key as hard and as far as I could. Wish that love would never enter there again. My heart was closed for good. Then you came into my life and made me change my mind. Just when I thought that tiny key was impossible to find. Why I chose you? Because you are school boy and also same age like mine. It seen like you innocent and not a player. Its not easy for me to give you enter again the door. But you never appreciate it.

Damn, why Im so badly trust everything you promise me. You lie. Please stop playing with you own word if you dont mean it. I knew Im wrong for make you touched only by my little spoke. You prove me that I was wrong. I admit my mistake. And the worst is there was no answer from you to forgive me. I know what you want from me. So sorry. Im sorry. Sorry if I never hold you and kiss you lips. Im clean. I beg you dont leave but you hate me. Okay bye.
(*bangang la. aku baru nak feeling. kecawa gila. emm, kecewa tu apa? haha)

Laki pon kuat merajok. Tolonglah jangan merajok2 dgn aku cuma pasal benda kecik. Aku nak pujok jual mahal sangat. Fedap suda. So long sucker!! Aku tak desperate sangat nak kat hang.
(*dia mmg bodo. dulu trgedik2 sgt.)

So, what can I say. How can I change the day like before even I cant change your own perception. Fyi, I hate the way you treat me. But thanks for make me happy with your annoying jokes and your funny word. May Allah bless you. This is the end. I already try my best. You're not giving another chance. You dont need me. So do I. You are surrender. You are the failer. Not me. Goodbye means forever.

(Moral of the story : Dont worry be HAPPY.)

05 August 2010

gejala usik mengusik

I had almost face this situation all the time in school. At first I thought they hate me and love to see im down. But the truth they just wana had fun between us to share every moment. Im too quiet when they try to cheer me up. This is the reason why i had no best friend until now.

So, now onward I didnt have to feel any inferior. be strong to fight back all their funny word. Dont worry be happy. Just dont forget to play your own character

By the way thanks a lot to Pn Ong Siew Moi. Can I hug you like a bear? I love you so much. You the reason why I still stay in this school.

23 July 2010

Heck of the month

No friend no boyfriend and nobody in my life. Nobody want to hang out with me. and I'm alone in home right now. I hate all the human around me. All of them are the same. How could they do this to me. They treat me like a dog. I'm not that fool your damn ass. One day I will beat your bum. I hate you. I hate them. Is this what I got after six month hold on in this hell?

Once again I'm down with situation that I face. There a teacher who always making funny by affront me. She just to much look down upon me. No one defend me. I'm so disappointed with all the human in this class. What the fish! They also add by what teacher making funny. My heart already burn inside. I put my head down to calm down. Run to wash room, lock the door and sit there until the school over. At home, I scream hardly in car. Take the white pill and I'll feel alright.

On the next day, only Sharon and Loi asking about yesterday. Thank for caring and give me attention. Once again, the same teacher give me a hint that she hate me. I don't know what her problem. Did she out of her mind?

29 May 2010

its begins



hahahahahhahahahahaha. He said I'm chill like a child. I'm doing this till my last breath. Just for cheer me up. Not for you damn fuckersss !!! I'm tired spending my school life without friend. I only have my fake sister as my friend but she never did. So why shold I care? Its okay. This world is not mine. I dont need you if you dont will. Never afraid to lost friend because I still have a lot of them. My class mate still there for me when I need. Hey, I happy now okay!! And I not alone... But home alone. This world it totally not mine. I not born to be hot like her. I am nobody. Nobody perfect :(

aku cuma perlukan sedikit perhatian.


18 April 2010

All The Lies

What the hell are you waiting for? It's all for you or it's all for nothing. All for hoping that you'd give it a chance. What the hell am I waiting for? To be out of time or be out of context. Pleasantly complex. And were giving up on getting guilt out of our way.

Ok fine!! I will never trust you fake sister. She promise me to cobber me to that event that I always want to attend but I cant make it. When she come back but she never will with this promise.

Now I know that all she said in last letter was all lie. She just want make sure Im okay before I sit on PMR exam. But after PMR dosnt' she care? No.. In two days she come back, we were fight through our tongue. I just shut up and never want to talk fight with her again. I am surrender and let she talk more. I run out from the room and hug Abel. My tears drop on Abel. OMG!! Am I crying? I quickly warp my eyes to make sure no one know Im crying. I never know I have a feeling.

Beware : Never trust all what the humans say because all of them are lie.

11 April 2010

a girl make my money burst !!

I was hanging out with Sherry around 12.30 noon. I spend along offday Sunday with her while my money waste for her lunch at KFC. Its okay dear. Its okay along you are the light in my life to tell me that Im not alone and I have a friend. I told my self to never regret from this moment event my money waste. Lets make more mistake and learn. Another waste is I just follow Sherry desirous to buy a starbuck coffee. She dont want us to share. Okay fine!! Why so stupid im doing this? I dont need this junk drink!!

I am away to have a hair cut while Sherry meet her two chinese friend. I not make any hair change. Only a little trim cut to make it little bit short.

Time run faster than I thought and damn I was late. Arriving late earns me the sexual relationship between sexes. WTF? Ayah scold me because Im late going home. Again? Oh no!! Not again. He ask me to go home and never come to visit my grandmother this time. Its okay. I dont care what....

14 February 2010

out of step

Venue: Soundmaker Weld Quay, Penang
Admission: RM18


he make me attend this. please dont tell. im fine.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

12 February 2010

nightmare after alone

Suatu malam sabtu yang sepi... macam biase aku sedang alone di rumah...jam didinding telah menunjukkan pukul 3.00pg...


anjing sayup2 menyalak.​.​.​bulu roma ku meremang semacam...

orang kata..klu bunyi anjing menyalak dari jauh...

maknanya ada makhluk halus merayau2 n dekat dgn kita.​.​kataorangla.​.​
aku merenung kipas di siling...lama kelamaan akupn terlelap...n tidur dengan lenanya..


Tiba2 aku terjaga...dan belari menuju ke bilik air...

tak tahan nak buang air kecik.. pastu tiba2 aku terasa amatla seram..angin bertiup sayup pabila aku melangkah keluar dr bilik air....

akupn wat tak tau je..belagak berani la konon...aku melangkah menuju ke bilik tidur ku...

pastu akupn kembali tidur.​.​.​.​.​dengan menghadap ke dinding sambil memeluk bantal busuk ku.....


pastu tiba2 aku terasa mcm ada orang kejut aku..

aku pun berpaling.​.​.​.melihat ​dari susuk tubuh macam ibu aku...oleh sebab dlm gelap aku tak perasan sapakah itu...
bila aku tanya senyap je...lagi sekali angin bertiup sepoi2 ditelinga ku...

pastu aku pandang betul2 sambil menggosok mata ku yang mengantuk nie...
aku pn merenung tepat2 ke arah sususk tubuh didepanku.

rupa2nya hantu perempuan berambut panjang sambil merenung tajam ke arahku....
dengan pantasnya dia menerkam dan mencekik tengkuk ku...


akupn meronta2 n terajang hantu tu....dengan siksanya utk aku lepaskan diri....


akupn menjerit2 memanggil ibu,​ayah,​adik,​akak,​abg aku bertalu2.​.​.​namun tiada sapa yang mendengar...

aku jerit lg YA ALLAH...
pastu akupn tersedar...YA ALLAH...aku bermimpi rupanya...

last2 aku terasa diri aku nk kencing sangat2...

nasib baik tak kencing atas katil siot..


pastu apa lg berlari la aku ke bilik air...pandang2 kiri kanan jugak aku...


Sebab teringat yang terjadi dalam mimpi td...
hahaha.​.​.​huhuhu
kecut perut jugakla aku....
huhhuhu...

07 January 2010

go back to hell yeah !!

Since my struggle end i have never land my foot step in this hell. I wish I could run away from this hell and find another good hell. With god bless I fell stronger when I face a lot of trouble. Like what my father said Im always the black sheep in this family who always find my self in trouble.

List of issue :-

1st - take my struggle result with baju kurung.
2nd - eh wan mana menghilang
3rd - budak sain mesti jadi budak nerd
4rd - wah wan baca buku tentang keagamaan
5th - wan suke lari bila duty
6th - chemistry ! chemistry !
7th - hoi hoi wan lah. lame tak nampak igat dah mati

hey bitch ! i dont care !
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