Remind myself of me

Hi there.

I'm home.
Following my father to our old house.
My brother showed me this video.
I know its kinda lame to post about it. Haha. But.
Its remind me of me.
Remind myself why I've been gone.
Remind myself why I ended up having no friend.
Remind me of my miserable childhood.
Remind me of my hair. :p
Yeah, I missed my hair.
But I still have the same hair right now. :p

Well, that's an old story.
Enough.
I'm a young adult now.
22 years old.
Things are getting better.
I promise.
Just keep on walking,
and never look back.
:)

Did you know?
I've made my online appearance because I wanted to sell things.
I guess I'll stop now.
Before this, I'm an offline person.
I remember the sweetness of being offline person.
I will continue to be offline person in 14 days until my final exam ends.
14 days left to study week.

~out busy.

Accidentally hit a monkey.

Today, I woke up, read analog notes, clean up the mess, and pack my back to go home. I wanted to meet Kak Miza to ask some question about analog. Before that, I went to Cafe Lembaran to help Kak Miza brought her lunch. After that, I went to my rental house to get my Pos Laju receipt. I'm on my way to Pos Laju Nibong Tebal guided by Waze application because I never went there. While I'm on my way, there's a monkey playing beside the highway. The road was totally cleared from any vehicle at that time. I never thought one of the monkey would jump across the road immediately by the time my car passed by. BOOM!! The sound of the blood splashed. I hit the monkey. The monkey was dead. I looked at reverse mirror. I'm terrified and feels bad at myself. There's nowhere I could stop my car to have a look because there's lots of cars behind me. In fact, I'm afraid of monkeys too. I'm afraid if the troop of monkeys would attack me because I killed their friend. Oh my. I'm a killer. Am I a sinner? :'(

RIP. I'm so sorry monkey :'(

Ocean of Tears

Remember those times

when I start not to cry and smile?

Remember those times

when I start not to came out from the house?

Remember those times 

when I always be the one who gone in a photograph?

Remember those times

when I sacrifice myself to see their happiness?

Remember those times

when I've been gone away too long?

I've been missing a lot of things.

Remember those times

when I start to cry and smile?

Remember those times

when I start to came out from the house?

Remember those times

when I start to appear on the photograph?

Remember those times

when I still love seeing their happiness?

Remember those times

when I didn't mind to be the one that gone?

A lot of things just happen.

After searching for so long.

I droped an ocean of tears.
I cried about a billion of times.
Realizing that I'm a sinner in 'one thing'.

Now, people can easily saw the tears.

But nobody dares to lend me a shoulder.

Except, a prayer mat.

I didn't understand.

Why should I crying every time I meet that mat.

Day by day,

I may not get what I am wishing for.

But what I get is,

I feel comfort.
I feel not alone.
I feel the sweetness.

I feel someone is loving me.
I saw it and it's beautiful.

~unknown

Anak Hebat

Rahsia pertama: Anak hebat punya matlamat yang jelas dan tidak sanggup berkompromi dalam merealisasikan matlamatnya itu.  Apabila ditanya apa cita-citanya apabila dewasa nanti, anak hebat boleh memberikan jawapan dengan pasti akan cita-citanya itu.  Matlamatnya cukup jelas.  Malah dia tahu kenapa dia mahu mencapai cita-citanya itu dan untuk apa.  Dia cukup yakin bahawa hanya faktor masa sahaja yang menghalangnya mencapai cita-citanya sekarang.  Namun satu hari, ia pasti menjadi kenyataan.

Rahsia kedua: Anak hebat pentingkan pelajarannya.  Dia tahu hanya pelajaran sahaja yang membolehnya mencapai semua cita-citanya.  Sebab itulah anak hebat sentiasa memberikan tumpuan dalam kelas, menyiapkan semua kerja sekolah yang diberikan dan mengulangkaji pelajarannya.  Malah anak hebat menyertai program motivasi luar bagi mendorong dirinya dan memantapkan teknik dan kemahiran belajarnya.

Rahsia ketiga:  Anak hebat tidak malu mengakui kelemahannya dan meminta bantuan bagi mengatasi kekurangannya itu.  Anak hebat sedar bahawa tidak semua orang tahu semua perkara.  Dia juga sedar bahawa setiap orang memiliki kehebatan, bakat serta kebolehan yang berbeza-beza.  Menyedari akan perkara ini maka anak hebat sentiasa mencari bantuan bagi mengatasi setiap kelemahannya itu.  

Rahsia keempat: Anak hebat menjalinkan hubungan yang baik dengan semua orang.  Mereka hormat kedua ibu bapanya dan sentiasa dengar akan nasihatnya.  Anak hebat sentiasa berusaha menyenangkan dan menggembirakan keduanya.  Anak hebat juga sentiasa membantu dan mesra dengan adik beradiknya.  Dia juga disenangi oleh rakan-rakannya dan sentiasa menolong mereka sama ada dalam pelajaran atau urusan hariannya.  Anak hebat sentiasa dipuji oleh guru-gurunya dan menjadi ayam tambatan disekolahnya.  Dia juga sentiasa boleh diharapkan dalam apa juga urusan dan sentiasa bersedia untuk membantu.

Rahsia kelima: Anak hebat sentiasa muhasabah tindak tanduknya dan memantau prestasi pencapaiannya.  Dia tidak membiarkan kemajuannya terbantut.  Dia tahu dimana dia berada sama ada semakin hampir atau masih jauh dari sasarannya.  Apabila dia dapati sesuatu perlu dilakukan bagi memperbaiki prestasinya lalu dia ambil tindakan yang proaktif dan melakukannya tanpa menunggu disuruh, diarah atau ditegur.

Rahsia keenam:  Anak hebat sentiasa lakukan yang terbaik dan bersungguh-sungguh dalam apa jua perkara.  Bagi seorang anak hebat tiada pekerjaan yang main-main dalam falsafah hidupnya.  Apa sahaja yang perlu dilakukannya maka dibuat sebaik mungkin.

Rahsia ketujuh:  Anak hebat istiqamah dalam usahanya.  Anak hebat percaya kejayaan besar yang mahu dicapainya esok hari adalah himpunan kejayaan-kejayaan kecil yang diperolehinya setiap hari.  Oleh itu, dia sentiasa istiqamah.  Dia bukan seorang yang hari ini rajin esok tidak atau hari ini buat sikit esok banyak.  Sebaliknya dia membuat perancangan belajar dan konsisten belajar mengikuti perancangan tersebut tanpa bosan atau jemu.

Rahsia kelapan:  Anak hebat sentiasa belajar dari orang lain dan suka hadiri pelbagai program, aktiviti dan seminar yang membuka mindanya.  Anak hebat mempunyai mentor atau model ikutan.  Dia belajar dari mentornya dan lakukan apa yang model ikutannya lakukan.  Dia tahu bahawa kejayaan yang mahu dicapainya itu telah pernah dicapai oleh orang lain.  Sebab itulah mereka ikuti pelbagai program bagi mengetahui apa orang hebat lakukan dan meniru perlakuan tersebut.

Rahsia kesembilan:  Anak hebat sentiasa ingat Allah.  Anak hebat tahu manusia ini hanya mampu berusaha tetapi Allahlah yang akan menentukan segalanya.  Dia juga tahu jika dirinya engkar akan perintah Allah, bergelumang dengan dosa dan maksiat maka Allah akan tutup hatinya dan hilang keberkatan dalam usahanya.  Sebab itulah anak hebat menjaga solat lima waktunya, melakukan banyak amalan sunat, membaca al-quran setiap hari, berpuasa sunat Isnin dan Khamis, ada amalan-amalan doa hariannya dan basah lidah serta hatinya dengan zikir.

Rahsia kesepuluh:  Anak hebat tidak pernah sombong dengan apa yang dicapai atau diperolehinya.  Dia sentiasa bersyukur apabila mencapai kejayaan dan kecemerlangan dan berkongsi kegembiraannya dengan mereka yang ada disekelilingnya.  Anak hebat tidak pernah menunjuk-nunjuk atau mendabik dada.  Dia tahu sifat sombong hanya akan merosakkan akhlak dan amalannya.  Dia berterima kasih kepada semua orang setiap kali beroleh kejayaan.  Padanya apa juga kejayaan yang diperolehinya itu adalah kejayaan mereka yang sentiasa bersama-sama dengannya.

Rahsia kesebelas:  Anak hebat sedar bahawa hanya dia yang boleh tolong dirinya bukannya orang lain.  Anak hebat tahu bahawa orang lain boleh membantu sedikit sahaja tetapi dirinyalah yang akan membawanya ke puncak jaya.  Kalau tidak faham satu dua perkara bolehlah bertanya pada guru.  Itu pun setelah diri sendiri berusaha memahami dan menyelesaikannya dahulu.  Bukan serahkan semua perkara bulat-bulat pada guru atau meminta bantuan penuh dari rakan.  

(Source : http://www.tengkuasmadi.com/blog/post-title-click-and-type-to-edit1)

*I've been re-read this everytime I feel lost in my direction.

---

22nd

Al-Quran digital as 2 years birthday present from Umi.

While busy undergoing my internship in Johor, it is my 22 th birthday. As always, nobody is wishing me happy birthday except my family members. After I post a screenshot about the birthday wish from my family, there's only one friend who wish me happy birthday. His name is Danial. My old friend. Well thank you for the wish even though its late. Back then, after a few days, Zafirah message me and wish me happy birthday. So, total up, only two friends wished me. Haha.

Dear Nana, 

Even though nobody is celebrating you, I always be the person who loves you.
You'll be fine. I promise.

From,

Nana.

Time with Atok

Well, look at that pale face. She must been through so many things. I don't know how to say. But I'm here to undergoing my internship and while that I've been spending time with her. I'm wondering how am I when I'm older? Hmm..

It is 30th August. The day I make an early end of my internship. I do feel sad to make the end first. Leaving all these memories. At night, Atok wants me to eat satay with her. On 31st August, I went to Tadika Kemas for merdeka event. My dad can't pick me up from Johor because he is busy at the moment. So, I told my mom I want to drive my own from Johor to Uncle Ijam's house and she agreed. Yey!!

On 1 September, since I already quit my job (Intern) I take this opportunity with Atok to visit a sick family member in Johor. She has cancer. And I was driving around Johor Bahru to settle some issue too. I manage to arrive back to Atok's house before Asar. After that, we quickly went to car workshop to service Ayah's baby car. Hehe. On Friday morning, me and Atok on the way to Uncle Ijam's house and safely arrived at the destination in the evening. Alhamdullilah :)

Service Ayah's baby car

Atok was here in Taiping in 2 weeks. I randomly find time to went back home just to see her even though I'm busy. I just missed her. I don't know why. Hehe.

~out. busy

Internship

To make the long story short, 

I am one of the lads. 

There are just to much things happen. 

The truth is I am damn scared to face all these male and foreigners but I pretend to be tough.

Day by day, I suited myself with the surrounding and learn how to be socialize with different gender.

I do learn a lot of things.

I need to learn more things.

I'm still dumb and stupid in so many things. 

Enough.

Goodbye.

Offline.

HAPPY EID 2016

Male group photo with Atok

Female group photo with Atok

I applied holiday with my workmate, on Monday which is two day before raya. Theme for this turquoise. I wear a songket baju kurung with black shawl from Turky. Kakyong who gave me that shawl for free. In the morning, I went to the mosque for sunat aidil fitri prayer. After prayer was done, it start raining heavily and we waited for Ayah, Hanafi, Ahmad and Nabil in the car park. After that, we went home and helped what we have to help. Its only the 1st day of hari raya and the house already full of guest of family members. Mak Nani and her family was here too. We begin our photo session very late. At that time, some of our family member was not available.

2nd Syawal - Kakyong and Hanafi were ready to leave to went to Hanafi's parent house. Before Kakyong leave, we took photo together and Kakyong says, "Nana lulus jadi model tudung Kakyong". Haha. I don't know what she really means. I guess she probably must be joking rite? Yeah. Atok's house today was still full of guest of family members. We didn't even have a chance went out to other people's house. But, I manage to went out for a while to Umi Mah's house in the evening.

3rd Syawal - I forget what happen. Haha.

4rd Syawal -

5th Syawal - Driving around JB with Tok Uda and Atok. Went to wedding invitation.

6th Syawal - Fasting

7th Syawal - Fasting

8th Syawal - Faint at workplace.

9th Syawal - Took MC for work.

10th Syawal - Went to Tok Abang's house and

11th Syawal -

12th Syawal -

13th Syawal -

14th Syawal - Followed Atok to marhaban. Feel terribly tired. I don't have appetite to eat. I just want to sleep.

15th Syawal - Marhaban.

16th Syawal -

17th Syawal -

18th Syawal - Fasting.

19th Syawal - Went to water fall with Uncle Syafiq, Umi Cha and Mariam.

20th Syawal - Fasting.

21th Syawal - Fasting. Went Marhaban for the last time.

22th Syawal -

23th Syawal - Fasting.

24th Syawal - Went to ratib atas with Umi Mah, Uncle Ijam, Danial and Atok. Umi Mah made kuih for that ceremony and we helped out. When reach at the destination, it already magrib time and we prayed magrib in the house. While waiting for isyak time, we read husnul khatimah.

25th Syawal - Went to JB for wedding invitation with Atok, Uncle Ijam, Umi Mah and Danial. Then, we went to Uncle Net's house.

26th Syawal -

27th Syawal - Fasting.

28th Syawal -

29th Syawal -

30th Syawal - Marhaban beside atok's house.


Money collect:
Raya - RM352
Marhaban - RM46

Apoplexy

After, doing some light nozzle cleaning, I really excited to join the JUKI maintenance part. While cleaning the Juki's nozzle, my vision become blurred, my head spinning. I lean down for a while to find my vision back. I stand up and my vision become blurred once more. I came to Kak Su to tell how I felt. She has required me to sit beside for a while. My stomach starts hurting, I can't stand it. Kak Su help support me to the chair at the nozzle cleaning side. While that she asks if someone has a sweet by saying "Hey, ada gula-gula tak? Sapa ada gula-gula?". It was so damn embarrassing moment. I tip down my head on the table, this apoplexy moment was so damn painful than I used to experience before. I attempt to stand up to search for Kak Mas. She wasn't there in the office. The pain become so much stiffer. I sit back, open my ESD jackets, lean my head downwards on the table. Mr Tay asked me why. I asked Kak Mai to get me some water. My whole body become wet of sweat. Kak Mas came, she support me to the sick room because I can't balance myself to walk. I feel so weak now. My blood pressure getting so low. Damn you Wana, how are you going to work like a man if you keep falling sick like this. It was so damn damn embarrassing moment.

Dean List

The End.

:)

Opposite

One fine day, two person meet.
She is Muslim, he is Buddhism. 

She respects his believe, he respects her believe.

She loves her parent, he loves his parent too.
They think can't endure the change.
They can't abandon their faith. 

Both have to accept that they can't go any further other than just be a good friend.

They move on.

Looking forward.
Continue their life journey to becoming an adult.

 Do the best they can in what they are currently doing,

and put a love on it.

They wanted to be success.

Not to be a winner.

They just don't want to lose.

Good luck to both of them.

The End.

-Mysterios unknown

A journey called love

Just a short and quick post. Not grammatical. 

View from top of Jabal Nur

Day 1 - 7 hours flight from KLIA to Abu Dhabi and then transit.

Day 2 - 5 hours flight to Madinah. Load our bag, taking bus to hotel, unload bag, rush to subuh prayer at Masjid Nabawi. The weather here is so cold. Breakfast, lunch at hotel, fall asleep. Pray Zohor and Asar in Hotel. Pray Magrib and Isyak at Masjid Nabawi. Dinner at hotel.

Day 3 - Wake up early. Subuh at Masjid Nabawi, breakfast at hotel. Take a walk around Masjid Nabawi with family. Zohor at Masjid Nabawi. Asar, Magrib, Isyak at Masjid Nabawi. Entering Raudah first time with aunty aida.

Day 4 - Wake up early 3 am. Iktikaf at Masjid Nabawi. Subuh. Back to hotel for breakfast. Come out and went to Masjid again. Get free food. Entering Raudah again with Umi, Tok and Aunty Aida. Came out from Raudah. Eat the free food.

Day 5 - Subuh at Masjid Nabawi. Back to hotel and have breakfast. Went to Masjid Quba and pray, Jabal-Uhu, Masjid Dua Kiblat, Medan Perang Khandak and Pasar Tamar.

Day 6 - Subuh at Masjid. Back to hotel and quickly pack out bag. Breakfast at hotel. Went to Raudah again with Kakyong and Aunty Aida. Zohor at Masjid Nabawi. Lunch at hotel. Getting ourself ready to Macca. Went to Macca. Unload bag at hotel. Went to Masjidil Haram and done our first Umrah.

Day 7 - Free activity. Magrib at Masjid. Pray outside. Raining in Macca. Lost my sejadah in crowd of people that was in rush. Crying in rain because I've been using that sejadah since I was fifteen. Back to hotel. Take bath, wash cloth. Dinner, pray isyak. Went down at lobi waiting to climb Jabal Nur (Gua Hira').

Day 8 - Went ziarah for miqat. Climb Jabal Rahmah. Went down. Suddenly, my mum spot that my body temperature had rise and she didn't allow me to do Umrah this time because she worried if I could not make it. I though Im fine, I can hold it.

Day 9 - Climb Jabal Thur. Doing Umrah sunat. Pray at hijri ismail. Entering crowd of people. Not feeling well when Magrib. Went back to hotel.

Day 10 - Went to ladang unta and muzium kaabah. Then continue Umrah sunat.

Day 11 - Free activity.

Day 12 - Not went to Umrah midnight. Actually, I was awake to get ready but everybody was sleeping.

Day 13 - Free activity.

Day 14 - Saying goodbye, tawaf widaq. Went to Masjid Terapung at Laut Merah. Went to Jedah airport. 4 hours flight. Transit at Abu Dhabi. 7 hours flight to KLIA. Taking bus to Masjid. Went to Aunty Aida's mum house. Fall sick again. Went to clinic nearby. Night at Aunty Aida's house.

Day 15 and so on - Taiping. We are not going to any dobi to settle our family's laundry. So, I have to help to settle it the best I can. Hehe.

~out folding cloth

How's it going to be

At guest house.

In this semester, I didn't receive any offer of accommodation at any hostel. Thus, I bear to search any house nearby for rent. At first, Intan my ex-housemate at Desasiswa Utama advertise on Facebook to search for a roommate. So, I offer myself to join her. I already made a payment to her and though my accommodation issue was ease. But unfortunately, when I ready to leave my house and be prepared for my new semester, she told me that an owner of the house tell her that the house was already reserved. We panic and decided plan B, plan C or plan D as an alternative backup plan. Me and Nurin plan is to rent a guest house in Desasiwa Utama one week and share the cost of rent RM50 per night. While that, we have to keep on searching for the rent house.

Some view at the rental house.

My father was in the jungle, doing his work and soon he has to be outstation. He demands for assistance from Prof Dato M###### whether he can facilitate us to find any accommodation in my University. I already practiced what my father ordered me to make out, but the petition won't work, we fail. After a while, we keep on searching for the house, Nurin's father found the new built two level grey houses nearby. It is located in Taman Ilmu. The rental cost is RM600 for less than 6 people. If more than 6 people the cost will be RM100 per person. The new house were very nice. There were 4 bedroom and 5 attach bathroom. The mansion is still new since there are merely a few neighbours around and the home was still dusty.

Favorite activity during spare time.

First day of the semester, I didn't have my car with me. Thusly, I car pool with Nurin's car to class. On the second day, I borrowed Hanafi's car (manual car) to class until Saturday, which is the first night I sleep in the new rental house. Hanafi help switched with Ayah's car (manual car) for me to use. I ended up using Ayah’s baby car until the end of the semester because we have an extra car. 

Missed that orange car. The best hardship memory, last time.