Mark me a hole

Fear not , I'm not dead yet. I'm still here baby. Let me explain , the past few weeks without no updates is solely because I've entirely unforgivably busy. Only god knows how busy am I. Why ?

I'm sure it's been a while since the I last updated this forsaken thing .

Actually I've been overly and entirely busy that I forgot about this blog. Thanks to the fucking homeworks on hold from the douchebag's at the smk. They event dont give a crap to know how you'd feel. Here I show you my homework list :

It just a plain wtf rite ?

And it is the Chinese new year , the month of prosperity they say. The time where you should be relaxing and begging your chinese friend for a cheap bastard ang pau's by enjoying those rare sweet oranges while watching some 1970's porno. If you did that. LOL

Too add it up , gayvalentine is here too and where the fuck is my chocolate. HEY, I WANT MY CHOC , CHOC !

just feel hell like home

Still stuck in the hell. But this time the hell seen so different. The hell was make me smile. The hell make my day a day. The hell make me feel the bites of happiness like there's no tomorrow. Thank you for everything. But yet it become so different feel when I am invisible. Like I have nothing to do. Ofcoz I hate that feeling. Its okay. I DONT CARE MUCH !!

Being a student is fun and enjoying. But everybody know the agonizing part of it. The up and down as they say. We all have different styles on how to handle every problem we have. My way to handle my problems is not think about it over and over again so it no longer bothers me. But there’s one problem that I can’t easily get rid off it and it seen come to an end. It is Sick.

It start from the trauma moment. It already became a habit. I always woke up on school days with the end to school with stress feel. Maybe Im too long keep myself in the dark until Im afraid of the light. Even, when on some meetings of friends or an event I always be the kind of bad respond person. It just like "kehadiran aku bagaikan tiang gol yang barnyawa"

Its okay. I dont care it either. I am here. I am alone. And dont need anyone help. I sure I can do it all by myself. What I need is just to get enough sleep.

I’ve got used to prepare myself to mind set it back. Since these day, I try to change my attitude even it seems to hard for me. I’ll start to change this practice little by little until it fades away completely. Hey, Im still on the period of changing. I hope it works to change a part of me. For sure I have much time left to change it :D

black sheep again

Oh my its good to touch you back, dear keyboard. I miss you so much. Touching your countless, uh buttons yea buttons makes me hard on. Your figure is way better than beyonce's (*oh that pig is fat,admit it farkers). Okay stop playing. Lets start to get off topic and weird. It is black sheep. Oh no! Not again.


Well, one idiot who obviously dumb and dumb arrive back home. My privacy space had been hack (*sorry to say that). Since then, the worst happen. What wrong with these people? Why they keep scolding me all the time even not my mistake. I feel so lack of love. Oh yess, I almost forget. Im useless and un wanted on this earth right? and I am born just to be scold with no reason.

Its okay. They can say what ever they want to say but I herd nothing. I silenced trying to figure a reason. I couldn't care much about it. It is just piece of garbage anyway. Just admit it. I keep my mouth shot to clam me down with doing innocent face. Oh yes!! Thank godness. They give up to talk more. hahahaha. Good job. Now, fighting over is some outdated fugly dance (*is just pure dumbass). I was to lazy to fight back.

(p/s : It turn out, my bad luck isnt ending.)

cant sleep + tired = sick head

dah dua hari tak boleh tido. why? why? why? i dono.

when all set done. kelam kabut nak get ready pegi trip.

7.00 am - betolak dari convent. duduk dengan Looi. Sharon dengan Saranya. berenti breakfast kat tapah.

11.30 am - sampai KLCC. tandas jap.

12.35 am - petrosain. perjalanan sekilas masa. dark ride. bersama Hawe, Rita, Sheshe, ngan lagi dua org sape ntah. tak ingat. bla bla bla. bla bla bla.

(*sorry aku tade mood nak tangkap gamba. aku teringin nak tido)

2.30 pm - pegi food court. Hawe, Rita, aku makan nasi ayam. Hawa belanja air oren. Sheshe makan bihun. bla bla bla. pusing2. bla bla bla. tunggu bas.

3.50 pm - naik bas. try kuey tiaw Saranya. pegi tandas belakang time square. tuka baju. naik bas. simpan. susun. turun. tunggu yang lain kejap. jalan. beli t-shirt monster dua. saja saja.

6.00 pm - tunggu dekat pintu utama. kat situ mcm gig free XFM tu la. patot la Mior ajak aku turun KL. ikot event dia kot. ada artis. banyak artis. tape takesah.

6.30 pm - bas sampai time sqare. naik. bertolak.

7.45 pm - cancle pegi bandar ICT. nak pegi terus check in hotel. bilik aku, fatin, yana no. 301. Yana mandi. OMG! she naked. buat tak nampak. Fatin mandi. aku tak sempat mandi. basah sikit2 je. siap. turun. aku ngan Fatin pegi dulu. Yana tunggu Nyonya, Fatanah dengan Fatin Nabilah.

9.15 pm - sunway piramid. cari Hawe. naik atas. tade. turun. cari Nyonya. Looi mesej tanya dekat mana. aku dah tataw aku kat mana. suroh diaorang jalan dulu. berpecah. wah. aku nampak ice skate lah. teman Fatin beli barang untuk mak dia kat JUSCO. da beli. pusing2. makan McD. kat tepi tengah McD tu ada ice skate. dah makan. nak kua dari sunway. Oh tidak. sesat! Fatin pegi turun dekat ice skate tuh. aku pon pelik. takkan la pintu kua kat sini. aku ikot dia je. org yg kat ice skate tuh tanya kenapa dekat sini? Fatin cakap nak cari pintu keluar. dia cakap bukan dekat sini. dekat atas. pastu naik lift pegi atas. kedai semua da tutop. kita org follow orang cina tuh jalan. tengok2 dia bukan nak kua dari sunway tapi dia memang stay dekat hotel dalam sunway nih. nampak pakgad. Fatin tanya mana pintu kelua. dia bagi taw. jalan2. pusing2. thx god. da jumpa da. kua. pegi hotel. masok bilik. bla bla bla. aku ngan Fatin pegi bilik 202. Fatin kua dari bilik 202. bla bla bla. diaorang main telefon. call bilik sana sini. Sheshe call bilik 301 ckp "Room survis. I have a complain that you room is too noisy. ..." diaorang tahan gelak tutup2 idong. aku tatahan gelak. bla bla bla. kua dari bilik 202. naik. masok bilik. bla bla bla. Daru mintak tolong surprise birthday Beh dalam bilik diaorang. masok bilik diaorang. tutop lampu. Sharon, Looi, Saranya pon ada. lari sana sini. bla bla bla. Beh datang masok bilik. surprise!! nyanyi lagu birthday. bukak lampu. kelua dari bilik. diaorg lari lari lagi. masok bilik Hawe. bla bla bla. naik masok bilik aku. bagi chipmore. Yana makan. Fatin tamaw. bla bla bla.

OMG! OMG! OMG! mana pegi casing contact lens aku? cari cari. geledah beg. tade. turun. bilik 202. tanya ada taperware tak? bagi taw why why dan why. Sheshe bagi tapeware makanan. tapi besa. masok bilik. terpikir. takkan nak simpan contact lens dalam bekas yang koto en. tak jadi guna. turun. bilik 202. mintak plastik. Sheshe bagi plastik cadburry. naik. masok bilik. turun dia org pulak nak geledah beg aku nak cari casing dia. bukan cari pon tapi belek2 barang aku. tape tak kesah. tanya Fatin ada plastik lagi satu tak. dia cakap tada. Yana cakap ada dekat depan lift dekat meja. kelua. pegi dekat meja. bukak laci. cari2. dah dapat. bla bla bla. simpan contact lens. pakai cemin mata. dah relax. huha huha huha. wah wah teruja bila dia ketawa. bla bla bla. huha huha.

dalam pukol dua mcm tuh Yana ajak kua. jalan2 saja saja. Fatin tamaw ikot. aku just pakai selua pendek ngan t-shirt sama dengan Yana. kelua. usha luar dekat tingkap depan bilik. masok bilik balek. Yana tajadi pakai selua pendek dengan t-shirt. dia pakai leklok skali ngan tudung. gud gud. aku just tambah sweater takot kalau2 aku tak tahan sejuk kat luar tuh. saja nak interframe. duduk dekat kedai mamak bawah tepi hotel tuh. minom je. bla bla bla. Yana nak makan roti canai pulak. suruh aku belanja. aku tamaw sebenanya. tapi tapela. sedekah. bukan slalu dengan dia. dia pon order lah cakap nak "roti canai" org tuh dengar "roti bakar". dia ulang lagi dan lagi. baru org tuh dengar dengan betol. bla bla bla. dan kita ketawa.

kita org kat mana nih? dekat negara negro ke? banyak gila negro kat sini. macam kita dua orang je melayu. ada negro mabok la. negro baik ada. ramai pulak negro kelua makan kat kedai makan pagi2 buta dekat sini.

sedikit sesi berterus terang dan luahan perasaan dengan Yana. bla bla bla. ada negro gado cakap pasal hamster. kita orang gelak2. dengar negro tuh sembang2 lagi. gelak lagi. lagi dan lagi. aku rasa macam Im own the night dengan dia. lama betol aku tak ketawa. ketawa macam setan. bla bla bla. huha huha. aku pon nak baya lah bill. da baya. pukol 4 mcm tuh. nak masok bilik. tadi ada org tuh mintak "dunhil" tapi mamak tuh denga "sardin". haha. apela. pekak.

ok. dah cukup tuh aku chill. masok bilik. Fatin da tido best je. Yana pon tido. aku tak tido. try tido. tabole. lagi. sampai pukol 6 lebih mcm tuh. aku mandi dulu. Fatin mandi. Yana mandi. dudok2 sat. tunggu dia org siap. bla bla bla. bilik Ezatie, Fad, Fatin Nabila jap. bla bla bla. diaorg makeup makeup. aku tak. tak suka makeup. I hate makeup. pegi bilik 214 jap. bilik Looi, sharon, Saranya. Saranya mintak charge. pegi bilik Ezatie. tanya charge. tade. pegi bilik 214 balik. lepak kejap. amek roti Saranya. pegi bilik Ezatie. dudok sat. Fatin tade. bla bla bla. tak ingat dah. turun. breakfast. abiskan chipsmore je. Fatin makan nasi goreng dgn roti telo. Mr. Chan blanja semua org. bla bla bla. 7e. bla bla bla. tunggu bas.

10.00 am - bas datang. betolak. aku dudok dgn Sharon pulak. Looi dgn Saranya.

10.45 am - sampai one utama. bla bla bla. huha huha. makan burger king. dgn Hawe, Rita, Sheshe, mano. frust gile lah. tamaw kawan Burger King. Burger King jahat!! jahat!! jahat!! jahat!! ok dah. lupakan. jalan2. pusing2. pegi tropicana life. OMG! OMG! beli sweater. sama corak macam Sheshe tapi colour ijau klabu cam tuh. bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. sesat sesat. bla bla bla.

1.30 pm - bas bergerak bila semua dah ada. bas amek cikgu dekat IKEA.

2.55 pm - tak jadi pegi planitarium. sbb tutop setiap jumaat. dan Mano is leaving dekat area area situ. semua 4SC3 turun. pelok Mano. dia org sedih. aku rase sebak sikit. tape. teruskan. otw JJ ipoh. tgok cita 'lu pikir lah sendiri'.

6.00 pm - sampai JJ. bersama Looi, Sharon, Saranya. tandas jap. pusing2. cari kek untuk anivasary mak ayah Sharon. naik. diaorg mkn. aku tak mkn. malas. tunggu diaorg mkn. aku beli waffel coklet. turun. Sharon blanja aku dengan Saranya ice cream. naik. turun. teman Looi beli baju Nike untuk mak dia. kelua. tunggu depan pintu.

8.00 pm - naik bas. balik. tengok cerita 'niyang rapik' masa otw. sampai mcm nak dekat pukol 10 cam tu la. dia orang semua mak bapak dah amek balik. tinggal aku ngan Fatin last tak balik lagi. tunggu kejap. dah sampai. balik.

tiga hari lebih tak tido. aku macam dah nak mati. lembik dah. aku penat. aku nak tido. bila nak tido? try tido. try tido. try. try. try. dah SHUT DOWN.

(*bila pengsan ingatkan dah mati)

dont read

swan origami

At frist I bring origami on Thursday. Not much of us attend. Sharon, Looi, Ama join me todo a swan. I just gave the swan that I made to anyone that I want. I gave it to Hawe and Sheshe. but sheshe didnt take it. i saw it. she leave the swan like a rubbish on the table. its okay. I dont care. I am nothing to you. I just gave that blue swan to fatin when she just arrive back from softball.

On monday, I bring origami again bcoz Looi ask me to bring it. Just for fun. not for nothing. like the day before. not much of us attend today. at frist, just sharon, looi and ama join me. we have nothing to do. then the moral gals from 4s4 and one fom 3 gals come and join me. it seem they interest to do this shit activities. later then, Hawa, Rita and the other come. its may sound stupid to know that they just be around my table just for these origami. well, we just nothing todo and dono what todo. its is better than we just doing stupid or gossiping to waste.

(p/s : Thanks to Lieshe for doing me a fish origami and priya for do me a t-shirt)

Thanks for this attention. Thank you all. This will maybe our last moment you treat me like a friend.

Thanks origami! Im HAPPY today

(P/s : Being unnoticed is bullshit rite? Time for make some change. Of course, drastically change loser, mark my words. I'll be the next she, I WILL BE NOTICED, people will hail me and kiss my ugly-odored feet like an Indian freak did)

apasal hang nih?

aku dah jadi bad attitude balik. tido tak stabil, makan tak stabil, study pon tak stabil. datang skola muka stress je. macam parah sangat ke? tula study hard sangat. kan dah effect. bila cikgu masok kelas cikgu mesti tanya "nape muka masam?" atau "why you so serious?". muka aku masam? yaka?

pape pon nasib baik ada teacher. bila ternampak dia nampak dia saja. tak nampak orang lain dah. aku boleh senyum n ketawa bila teacher aja. wah!! wah! wan senyum? wan ketawa? diaorang kesah apesal? ta pena tengok aku senyum ka? slama ni ada diaorg kesah? hmm. lupakan. yg penting aku tamau sibok2 pasal org. aku kesah pasal aku sorang ja.

study HARD HARD pon rugi jugak. walaupon exam lama lagi dah nak prepare HARD HARD awal2. bila time final exam je terus dah sakit. buat rugi je slama ni aku berkorban terperap dalam bilik lama2. masa kawan lain ajak enjoy kejap pon dah di burnkan. pasal kwn aku malas cakap la. tu bukan mslh aku. aku takesah. aku reda

three in one

Day : same day

Date : same date

Time : different time

Title 1

In relationship with @#$ :p

Shame on you? No! Im a shame!! How dare me waste my time to play this part of puppy love. Hey bitch, final struggle was around the corner. I just told him that I will not be around on school day. Pitty you? Okay, okay. Let me give you a discount. It was two days a week with you. Is that better? haha :p

So, are you serious? But surely Im not coz I think I know he is a player 'I think'.

Tittle 2

Its maybe sound stupid that I came to PizzaHat Restaurant just to eat. Not other shit! 

Just feel thankful for being invite. We are enjoying our food while annoying together. Everyone was joking with annoyed except me. I dont know whats wrong with me. Always something wrong I guess.

Tittle 3

A bored text with my secret admire. He ask me a stupid question that I already answered last time. Actualy I never tough I had a secret admire. I'm not a good looking person so.. By the way, he a player I guess.

At last, we were fighting in just short period time =.= and he telling me about his feeling *with nice drama word. Hahaha. This is fake. Probably he doesn't meant that. Forsure he will not wait me until the end.