you cast these scars

I knew I could trust you back when we were kids. You sold me out, ran and hid from all your problems. I cant even face your friends even your best friends. When you are holding something in tonight I can tell that you are not alright. Your poker face concealing with all the cards that you are not dealing with your cross arms and avert your eyes. You are like a child that ashamed to cry the words inside your head. I find out that you wish you said that. I know I let you down so many times but I cant ever tell you this because there is no forgiving it for me. You promised me to always be there but that could not be less true. It is the worst thing you could do. Im gonna bet it all on black and when its gone you will want it back. Cause truth will mix with the reason and cheating that ultimate reason and I could see through you like glass. This is my loss with your gain. Do you love to play this way? I’ll cross your face

dia memang bodoh

I had closed the door upon my heart and wouldn't let anyone in. I had trusted and loved only to be hurt. I wish that it would never happen again. I had locked the door and tossed the key as hard and as far as I could. Wish that love would never enter there again. My heart was closed for good. Then you came into my life and made me change my mind. Just when I thought that tiny key was impossible to find. Why I chose you? Because you are school boy and also same age like mine. It seen like you innocent and not a player. Its not easy for me to give you enter again the door. But you never appreciate it.

Damn, why Im so badly trust everything you promise me. You lie. Please stop playing with you own word if you dont mean it. I knew Im wrong for make you touched only by my little spoke. You prove me that I was wrong. I admit my mistake. And the worst is there was no answer from you to forgive me. I know what you want from me. So sorry. Im sorry. Sorry if I never hold you and kiss you lips. Im clean. I beg you dont leave but you hate me. Okay bye.
(*bangang la. aku baru nak feeling. kecawa gila. emm, kecewa tu apa? haha)

Laki pon kuat merajok. Tolonglah jangan merajok2 dgn aku cuma pasal benda kecik. Aku nak pujok jual mahal sangat. Fedap suda. So long sucker!! Aku tak desperate sangat nak kat hang.
(*dia mmg bodo. dulu trgedik2 sgt.)

So, what can I say. How can I change the day like before even I cant change your own perception. Fyi, I hate the way you treat me. But thanks for make me happy with your annoying jokes and your funny word. May Allah bless you. This is the end. I already try my best. You're not giving another chance. You dont need me. So do I. You are surrender. You are the failer. Not me. Goodbye means forever.

(Moral of the story : Dont worry be HAPPY.)

gejala usik mengusik

I had almost face this situation all the time in school. At first I thought they hate me and love to see im down. But the truth they just wana had fun between us to share every moment. Im too quiet when they try to cheer me up. This is the reason why i had no best friend until now.

So, now onward I didnt have to feel any inferior. be strong to fight back all their funny word. Dont worry be happy. Just dont forget to play your own character

By the way thanks a lot to Pn Ong Siew Moi. Can I hug you like a bear? I love you so much. You the reason why I still stay in this school.

Heck of the month

No friend no boyfriend and nobody in my life. Nobody want to hang out with me. and I'm alone in home right now. I hate all the human around me. All of them are the same. How could they do this to me. They treat me like a dog. I'm not that fool your damn ass. One day I will beat your bum. I hate you. I hate them. Is this what I got after six month hold on in this hell?

Once again I'm down with situation that I face. There a teacher who always making funny by affront me. She just to much look down upon me. No one defend me. I'm so disappointed with all the human in this class. What the fish! They also add by what teacher making funny. My heart already burn inside. I put my head down to calm down. Run to wash room, lock the door and sit there until the school over. At home, I scream hardly in car. Take the white pill and I'll feel alright.

On the next day, only Sharon and Loi asking about yesterday. Thank for caring and give me attention. Once again, the same teacher give me a hint that she hate me. I don't know what her problem. Did she out of her mind?

its begins

hahahahahhahahahahaha. He said I'm chill like a child. I'm doing this till my last breath. Just for cheer me up. Not for you damn fuckersss !!! I'm tired spending my school life without friend. I only have my fake sister as my friend but she never did. So why shold I care? Its okay. This world is not mine. I dont need you if you dont will. Never afraid to lost friend because I still have a lot of them. My class mate still there for me when I need. Hey, I happy now okay!! And I not alone... But home alone. This world it totally not mine. I not born to be hot like her. I am nobody. Nobody perfect :(

aku cuma perlukan sedikit perhatian.

All The Lies

What the hell are you waiting for? It's all for you or it's all for nothing. All for hoping that you'd give it a chance. What the hell am I waiting for? To be out of time or be out of context. Pleasantly complex. And were giving up on getting guilt out of our way.

Ok fine!! I will never trust you fake sister. She promise me to cobber me to that event that I always want to attend but I cant make it. When she come back but she never will with this promise.

Now I know that all she said in last letter was all lie. She just want make sure Im okay before I sit on PMR exam. But after PMR dosnt' she care? No.. In two days she come back, we were fight through our tongue. I just shut up and never want to talk fight with her again. I am surrender and let she talk more. I run out from the room and hug Abel. My tears drop on Abel. OMG!! Am I crying? I quickly warp my eyes to make sure no one know Im crying. I never know I have a feeling.

Beware : Never trust all what the humans say because all of them are lie.

a girl make my money burst !!

I was hanging out with Sherry around 12.30 noon. I spend along offday Sunday with her while my money waste for her lunch at KFC. Its okay dear. Its okay along you are the light in my life to tell me that Im not alone and I have a friend. I told my self to never regret from this moment event my money waste. Lets make more mistake and learn. Another waste is I just follow Sherry desirous to buy a starbuck coffee. She dont want us to share. Okay fine!! Why so stupid im doing this? I dont need this junk drink!!

I am away to have a hair cut while Sherry meet her two chinese friend. I not make any hair change. Only a little trim cut to make it little bit short.

Time run faster than I thought and damn I was late. Arriving late earns me the sexual relationship between sexes. WTF? Ayah scold me because Im late going home. Again? Oh no!! Not again. He ask me to go home and never come to visit my grandmother this time. Its okay. I dont care what....

out of step

Venue: Soundmaker Weld Quay, Penang
Admission: RM18

he make me attend this. please dont tell. im fine.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee